A Year Later

Gave up on this blogging thing. Shall I try again? I have a lot to think about right now. Tomorrow is the last day before I go back to work after 5 weeks off -- off-time due to my husband's severe illness and hospitalization. Very scary time, but also very full of confirmation of God's love for me in the form of family and friends pitching in to help, to comfort, to pray for Vic and all of us. As I write, he's been out of the hospital 2 weeks and is recuperating but still experiencing more discomfort and more weakness than I am satisfied with. That is, I'm concerned and am very glad we will be at the dr on Tuesday so I can ask some more questions.

Everybody talks about new years resolutions at this time, and I've thought about it a bit, too. I could determine to exercise more regularly, to read the Bible more, and many other things that I plan to work on, resolution or not. But I think I am making one actual New Years Resolution: to figure out how to be really honest about my faith in God and my simultaneous lack there-of. As an oldest child, I am strongly inclined to keep up strong front; I hide my weaknesses and doubts and questions almost reflexively. I especially hide them from my kids, not wanting to 'infect' them with my own issues. However, the actual outcome of this is that I often don't wrestle with "what does God have to do with this situation". Often, for me, the question looks more like "what does a good girl/good parent/good Christian do in this situation". And my answer is usually along the stiff upper lip, saving face, be strong lines rather than giving voice to my questions. What I want to work on is some real honesty with myself and with others when I'm in the thick of a challenging situation. I hope this will involve delving into the Word more, as I try to include Jesus the person in my conscious life.